He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
