Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
