i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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