oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
