That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize