he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
