Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
