Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
