Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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