if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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