Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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