Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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