i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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