I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
