We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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