Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
