If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
