I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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