I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
