I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
