are you still at the devil's house?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
