I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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