I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
