And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
