why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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