It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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