A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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