it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
