Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
