I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize