oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
