I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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