She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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