He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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