Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this just has baby written all over it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Less talking, more tequila
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize
