I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
