Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
