life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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