My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
