omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
