Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
