My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
