Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
