let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
