i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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