So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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