just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize