so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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