after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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