Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
