fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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