I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
