we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
