if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
