If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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