i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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