if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
