I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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