i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
