im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
