he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
