so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Farmville is her only friend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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