Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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