She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
