Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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