i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
