i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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