Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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